With mid-term elections looming I thought I’d share a political 13 this time around. The original list included 17 items and was created by the folks over at Safety Rule 4001. If you like what you see here, please go over and spread some love. If not, well, I’m sorry that we don’t see eye to eye. Honestly, you don’t know how very sorry I am.
13 things you need to believe to be a Republican.
- The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.
- Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.
- Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
- The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
- A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
- If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.
- A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
- Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
- A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
- Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
- Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
- What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80s is irrelevant.
- Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
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