we heart you

Oh wow.

How great it is to come back here a couple of days later to find that so many people have expressed their joy.  I love it!!!


Kajsa continues to do fairly well.  It’s kind of a ‘several steps forward one step back’ type of situation right now.  We left the PICU yesterday after waiting a day and a half for a private room.  Finally, after arriving in what I thought would be our destination, I started moving in.  I put our toiletries on the shelves and set up my “kitchen”.  Oh yes, this consists of hoarded packets of mustard, crackers and my Celestial Seasonings Emperors’ Choice tea that I just couldn’t handle hospitalization without.

I then commenced to chat with Chris for far to long about as many non-medically related subjects as possible, until it was waaaay past both our bedtimes.  I remember when we first started dating.  We could spend hours on the phone talking about absolutely nothing.  These days we can go a whole evening uttering only the occasional comment.  But when we’re separated, it’s just like old times.  So any way, it was about 12:30 when we finally said our goodnights.

I drifted off to sleep and began dreaming of my mom. 

No wait that was someone gently shaking me as they said “Mom…Mom.”  Confused, I came to wakefulness to find myself blinking up at a resident.  “Mom,” she said.  (They always call me Mom.) 

“Mom, we’re going to have to move you back downstairs to the PICU.  Kajsa’s blood pressure has gotten really low, and we’re not equipped to administer Dopamine.” 

“Oh.  OK.”

Still blinking, I began packing up the lotion, toothpaste and treasured katsup packets – then started reloading her bed to be rolled the back way to the service elevator and down to the room two doors down from where we’d been such a short time ago.  It was a veritable parade of Mickey Mouse medical masks and IV poles.  As we passed our former abode, I noticed that they’d taken my drawing of a huge kidney off the glass door that now looks in to a ventilated teenaged girl.  But the vibrant “Welcome to the Family” was still rainbow bright and cheery. 

As we turned the corner, the new window read, in bright bold colors, “WE LOVE YOU KAJSA!” complete with love replaced by a pretty pink heart.  That’s when I got weepy.  They have all been so sweet.  There is nothing in the world like the PICU of a children’s hospital.  You wanna see dedication and unconditional love – you need look no further.  What great folks.

So there we sat.  Kajsa went back on the Dopamine.  And the world was properly ordered once more.  Then around 7:00 she spiked a 102 fever, which we’re hoping is only a UTI.  So it’s prophylactic anti-biotics for the kiddo. 

But you know, as dreary as that all sounds, you’d never know it from hanging out with my gal.  Sure she’ll tell you she feels “yucky right now” and she’s a bit frantic whenever the Morphine wears low.  But despite all of that, she’s still filling the walls with her 3 year old drawings, trying new foods (wonder of wonders), and dancing in her seat while singing her ABC’s at the top of her lungs.

So yep, Kajsa’s recovering.  And it’s slow going.  But hey, it’s going.  And knowing Kajsa it’s only going to keep spiraling out of control.  Watch out everyone, here she comes!

I’ll be back soon.  It’s just so great to hear from you all. 

Hugs and much love.


7 thoughts on “we heart you

  1. Rowan, that is so awesome! Kristin and I are stoked about this blessing in your family’s life!

    Also, on a side note, I have never met someone who drinks Emperor’s Choice! That was my favorite tea growing up, only to be replaced now by a good fenel tea…

    Anyway, love and joy and strength to you and your family in this exciting time!

  2. Rowan, thanks for keeping us all up-to-date with what’s going on with all of you… Kajsa is never far from the forefront of my mind! Pass on a big I LOVE YOU from her Auntie. I wish I could be there to watch over the next few days, weeks, months as she continues to get healthier and experience so many unknowns… like an ENTIRE bag of crackers! 🙂 I love you… give my bro a hug from me, too!

  3. Rowan, I can’t tell you how much I have missed you. I always check to see if you have updated even though bloglines doesn’t show that you have. I think, “well maybe there is something wrong with the feed.” But, no, you have been gone. I have missed your posts and your comments and just everything about you. I hope when things settle down again and you get your computer back, you will be back to blogging again.

    Hugs and kisses to you and Kajsa and the rest of the family, too.


  4. Rowan, Chris and Kajsa – you are never far from my thoughts. Thank you for sharing all that is going on so that we feel connected. I am confident that this is just a bump in the road and not a detour – hang in there. Give Kajsa a big hug from Grandma and I’ll be talking to you all soon! Hugs and kisses

  5. Rowan I too have checked back often and I am glad for the updates. I don’t know you or your family personally but do count you as one of my blog family. Thanks for filling in the holes. My prayers continue for you and especially for Kajsa!

  6. Rowan… Your dad is doing a great job of keeping The Hawthorne Hooters up to date on Kajsa’s progress. Just know you are in all of our thoughts and prayers. All of you guys just hang in there.. And give Kajsa and Maya and Chris a big hug from us!

    Beth and Mike McDaniel (friends and neighbors of your parents)

  7. Rowan, I’ve been excitedly following Kajas progress, and holding you all in my thoughts. So glad that things are gong well. We’re thinking og you in NC. Susan, (at Synergy Studios)

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