It’s funny the relationships we develop with other
For instance, another woman – who I shall call Rhiannon, that I have met through blogging is so incredibly
She home/un-schools two children, volunteers at her church,
maintains many play dates (as well as other social obligations). As far as I can tell, she even has a happy
I regularly, while reading her posts, wonder to myself if
she has somehow managed to clone herself. Most days, I’m glad to get the dishes done and keep the whole family fed
and clean. If I post more than once
during the day, there is much self-congratulation to be had.
Therefore, when I found this today, I sent a copy of it to
her with our names substituted for Martha and Erma’s. Fortunately, it was received in the spirit of
love and humor with which it was sent.
And so without further ado:
The Letter to Rhiannon:
“I absolutely admire
your spirit. When I saw this, it tickled me to think about your
motivation and my…well, vulnerability to inertia.
I hope the holidays are
being kind to you!
Adapted from a Martha Stewart/ Erma Bombeck joke.
This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself to
tell you what I have been up to. Since it snowed last night, I got up early and
made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun. I hand painted it in gold leaf,
got out my loom and made a blanket in peaches and mauves.
Then, to make the sled complete, I
made a white horse to pull it from DNA that I had just sitting around in my
craft room. By then, it was time to start making the place mats and napkins for
my 20 breakfast guests. I’m serving the old standard Stewart twelve-course
breakfast, but I’ll let you in on a little secret: I didn’t have time to make
the tables and chairs this morning, so I used the ones I had on hand.
Before I moved the table into the
dining room I decided to add just a touch of the holidays. So I repainted the
room in pinks and stenciled gold stars on the ceiling.
While the homemade bread was rising, I took antique candle molds and
made the dishes (exactly the same shade of pink) to use for breakfast. These
were made from Hungarian clay, which you can get at almost any Hungarian craft
Well, I must run. I need to finish the hand-sewn buttonholes on the
dress I’m wearing for breakfast. I’ll get out the sled and drive this note to
the post office as soon as the glue dries on the envelope I’ll be making.
Hope my breakfast guests don’t stay
too long. I have 40,000 cranberries to string with bay leaves before my
speaking engagement at noon. It’s a goodthing.
P.S. When I made the ribbon for this typewriter, I used 1/8-inch gold
gauze. I soaked the gauze in a mixture of white grapes and blackberries which I
grew, picked, and crushed last week just for fun.
I’m writing this on the back of an old shopping list. Pay no attention
to the coffee and jelly stains. I’m 20 minutes late getting my daughter off for
school, packing a lunch with one hand-on the phone with the dog pound, seems
old Thor needs bailing out again. Burnt my arm on the curling iron when I was
trying to make those cute curly fries, how DO they do that? Still can’t find
the scissors to cut out some snowflakes, tried using an old disposable razor .
. . trashed the tablecloth. Tried that cranberry thing; frozen cranberries
mushed up after I defrosted them in the microwave. Oh, and don’t use Fruity
Pebbles as a substitute in that Rice Krispies snowball recipe unless you like
food that resembles puke! Smoke alarm is going off, talk to ya later.
was much relived when I got this response…
“OK, this is why I
LOVE you! Perfect. If you don’t blog this (using fake names),
I’m gonna! This is fantastic.
PS, it really irritates me when people make marshmallows. Anything you
can buy in the store–sheesh. I like that half-a$$ed cooking, I mean
"Semi-Homemade" stuff. LOL!
I say this as I hand-painted a gift box. Yikes!”
I’m just glad she didn’t design
the alphabet, invent the computer, and lay the phone lines, in order to send
this email to me.