Speaking of kids saying the darndest things…we have now
passed the milestone of the dreaded baby swear. Yes, my darling tyooo year old looked her father right in the eye
yesterday and said, “Daddy, crap.”
I have to admit that it did sound a bit more like “Dap”, which I was more that
willing to accept as a modified version of ‘stop’. But, you know, Chris was right there. And he is not so easily subject to denial; especially since we both know
where she got it. He just stared at me –
across the table – at the crowded local restaurant – where we already know
everyone – from the owners to the waitresses to the patrons – who were sitting
VERY close by. All I could think was,
You see, for years I have used this epithet (not
exclusively, mind you) due to it’s mildness. People who would run you out of town on a rail for more serious
linguistic indiscression will turn a blind eye to the milder version of the
fecal profanity. But not when it is
literally spit out of the mouths of babes.
Maya was easy. She
didn’t try on expletives until she was three and very easy to reason with. Kajsa is both more headstrong and
adventuresome. So, against my nature
(yes, my mom truly felt that it was her God given right, and duty to her
generation, to burn her bras and swear as often and loudly as possible), I fear
I must tone it down.
Now, the problem is, that, sometimes you just really need to
exclaim forcefully and briefly. I mean, what else is a gal to do when she slices open her finger paring
yet another apple or sees the cop in the mirror when she knows she was
There are times when lips just can be bitten no longer.
So, I guess what I need is a new set of vocalizations. Something that will be acceptable for a baby
to parrot, but won’t make me sound too much like I’ve been lobotomized.
I’ve thought of:
- Holy moley
- Golly Gee
- Dag nabbit
- Oh cheese
to name a few.
I don’t know how many of these suit me – at all. But I’m going to try to amend my ways.
Meanwhile, if any of you out there in this great big world
of ours has some good ‘uns, could you puhlease let me know. Because right now, when it comes to having
just the right thing to say, I am truly S.O.L. (stuck on a limb)!